apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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