Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
