listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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