I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
