): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
