Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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