David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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