Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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