i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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