Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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