I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
