I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
In America we eat man semen.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
