Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
