508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
