I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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