idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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