just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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