I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
