sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
