so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize