? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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