Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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