Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
