I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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