i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
