why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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