what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
