They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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