Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
