Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
