Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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