No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize