your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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