could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's like iHOP with fire
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
