I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
