if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
