I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
