so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
