i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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