some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize