why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize