how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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