omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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