The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
