these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
