Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
