well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
