porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
