My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
