I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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