What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
