and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
