i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
