I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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