I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
