yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
how does that bad decision feel?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
