Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
