Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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