They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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