do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize