Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
