Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Text me some of your sweat
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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