Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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