he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you never un-have a 4some
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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